Where's my chalk?

I'm sure most of you that read my blog understand this frustration of raising a child. Those that don't understand, I hope that what I write will help you make a decision about having children. (THEY ARE EVIL!!!) I'm sure that most of what I go through is normal mothering stories and the hazards of raising a child. However, I have yet to encounter a child who can ninja 7 gallons of milk into his room in a 2 months. That being said, I often encounter children that I simply cannot stand. I don't know how their parents deal with them on a day to day basis. But as soon as I think, "Wow, I'm so glad my child doesn't act like that," he goes and does something horrible and I'm pulling my hair out trying to deal with him. I don't know how to deal with the complexities of this child. Perhaps I'm just not cut out to be a mom. I just don't think like a mom. I think like a homeowner. It's not a good way to think when your child constantly ruins something in the house. It's a rough way to live, you know? Note to anyone thinking about having children: Don't buy a house that you hope to sell if you are going to have children in that home! It's impossible to keep the house clean and worth looking at. Unless you are rich enough to buy another house where the child will live until you sell the first one. And it will still take you 6 months to a year to completely fix the house you are trying to sell. Unless you have an angel of a child. In which case, congratulations!! Go hold that child so close and tell him/her that you love them!

All of that introduction is for this purpose: I'm drawing the line at power tools! I know that makes no sense to you now, but you will understand shortly...

I'm currently on a medication regiment for anti-anxiety and depression. (No surprise there really) I'm also taking a prescription at night that allows my other medication to work better and also helps me sleep at night. The problem that arises from taking the night-time prescription is that I sleep deeper once I finally go to sleep. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

A few months ago we bought the child door knob covers to try to keep Bradley out of places like my bedroom, the pantry, the linen closet, etc. We also put one on the inside of his bedroom door so that he couldn't get out at night and early in the morning (like 5 or 6am). It has worked wonders for my sanity at night and I loved being able to get up in the morning and he was still in his room either sleeping or quietly playing in his room. It was also really nice for nap time. It really gave me a break from chasing him around the house all day long. He could go in there and either sleep or play quietly while I went to the bathroom finally or just took a break to scoop up the shredded pieces of my brain. It worked really well and I guess I got used to the security that it brought me. So Heaven decided I had it too good and He chose to throw a wrench into things and see how I dealt with it. Bradley figured out Monday last week that if he hung on the door knob cover, it would snap into the two pieces and then he would have full use of his door once again. At first I thought it was just an accident - and it may have been to start out with - but he cataloged that little tidbit of information and continued to use it all week long. I told Dave that Bradley had figured out how to take of the door knob cover (I didn't know how he did it until later) to which Dave replied, "No problem I'll just put some 3m adhesive on it and he won't be able to take it apart unless he has a large, heavy professional tool. So I thought, "Okay, problem solved! I can go back to my secure 30 minute-a-day break." WHICH I WAS SO GRATEFUL FOR! So one night Dave took Bradley into his room, reinstalled the door knob cover, and asked him to take it off. Bradley walked right up to the door, hung on the cover and it happily snapped into two pieces for him. I'm make this part of the story short. There is NO way to fix that thought process. You can't 3m it back together, you can't screw it into the door, there is NOTHING. So we are back to square one...AGAIN!!!

I've been dealing with square one for a week and a half now. It's horrible. There are no naps during the day, no waking up to happy ideas of making the most of the day. I wake up listening to the sound of my child doing something destructive. The worst part of it is that I sleep so deeply because of the night-time medication that he can ninja into my room and pretty much take whatever his heart desires - because we can't close our door for fear that he will move on to another room in the house and destroy something more important than tooth brushes, contacts solution and vitamins (And no that's not all he has taken). This morning I woke up and heard him doing bad things in his room with a towel rod that had previously been placed in our room. So I jumped out of bed, ran across the hall and surveyed the damage. To my dismay I found: the towel rod, a skate board, an empty bottle of cucumber body spray from Avon (and yes the house smells like cucumber was smeared all over the place)and worst of all... Dave's power drill!....Yes the drill that Dave had used to hang up some shelves in the guest bathroom. And perhaps I'm being over-dramatic with this statement, but here it goes... I DRAW THE LINE AT POWER TOOLS!

So out of this ridiculously long post rampant with the nonsense babble of a psychotic mother, I'm desperately begging for something to draw my line with. Chalk, pencil, marker, PERMANENT MARKER, anything. Because this line will not be taken back, It will be burned into the carpet of this house if it must. That line represents the last straw, the foot of authority coming down. I cannot deal with power tools! And as soon as I have an extra $70 I will be buying a door knob that has a numeric code on it so that I can get back to my sanity...if I live long enough to get that money....